風流還是下流？

　　濫交是指性伴侶車如輪轉，或是隨手拈來，在不同的文化上均被視為「淫亂」，但傳統而言，不論國家、文化或教儀，男女在濫交的界定上一直存有雙重標準。女的是「蕩婦」，男的是「獵豔高手」。

　　西方的文化會以好色之徒 (womaniser)、花花公子 (playboy)、獵豔高手 (stud)、風流 (rake)等形容男性濫交者。在王政復辟時期 (1660-80)，查理二世旗下的Earl of Rochester及Earl of Dorset就為「rake」一字的典型代表。世人對其他的玩世不恭者如拜倫勛爵、約翰•甘迺迪、霍華德•休斯、卡薩諾瓦，或虛構人物唐璜、占士邦都是褒多於貶。可是對於埃及豔后、約瑟芬、俄羅斯女皇葉卡捷琳娜二世則大力抨擊。中國皇帝可擁後宮佳麗三千，富有的男人可有三妻四妾，但婉容、馮潤、武則天卻背上惡名。從前，婦女若負上淫亂罪，會被亂石砸死或浸豬籠處死。

　　在現今的文明社會，女性淫亂不會再受擲石、溺斃的懲罰，這一代的男性縱是妻妾成群，亦不敢公開示人。於婚後出軌被視為背叛，由嶺南大學Dr. Simon Fan及Dr. Lui Hon Kwong撰寫的「婚外情、婚姻滿足及離婚」亦指出「在危害婚姻關係的重重威脅中，以不忠最為致命。」在香港及內地，大部份的出軌者為男性，可能歸因於中國及香港分別於1950年及1971年才把一夫多妻定為犯法，要適應這個「新」文化，他們仍處於嘗試階段。不幸地，Congreve的金句至今依舊適用，「天堂中沒有怨懟比得上由愛轉恨的憤怒；地獄內沒有狂怒比得上女人的蔑視。」，道出現今大部分女性接受不了丈夫的不忠，離婚及破碎家庭是對這班出軌者的最終懲罰。

　　那情婦的命運又如何?中國女性的反應迥異，一些選擇啞子吃黃連，另一些則吵罵不休。在美國，shesahomewrecker.com為一班受婚外情折磨的妻子公開情婦的資料及相片，公開羞辱她們搶人夫的惡行，利用網絡世界自行執刑。

　　至於女人呢？曾欺騙她們的丈夫嗎？曾協助聯繫欲搞婚外情的已婚者，公開鼓勵出軌，惡名昭彰的英國交友網站——「Emily Pope of Undercover Lovers」對650,000會員進行調查，結果顯示相較十年前，現今有更多女性會欺騙她們的伴侶，出軌的她們甚至較男人來得狠。年輕成婚，在婚姻的初段上的她們更為冷酷無情，遇上新歡，更快選擇離婚，一走了之。究竟我們身上出了甚麼問題？

　　根據安全套生產商Durex於2005年進行的全球性事調查，最濫交的男人來自土耳其及芬蘭；女性方面，最受不住誘惑的是澳洲及新西蘭女性。土耳其人平均擁有14.5個性伴侶，印度人平均有3個，中國3.1個，香港則有3.8個。可是，根據同一報告，在性事上最感到不快的人分別來自排行第四的葡萄牙、第三的香港、第二的中國及位列榜首的日本。

　　若然我們能夠給予另一伴多些關注與心思，以更誘惑、性感、狂亂的性姿態，專心一意對待他，堅穩的婚姻關係、下調的婚姻率以及愉悅的性生活，我們或能實現？

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

Promiscuity

　　Promiscuity, is the practice of having casual sex frequently with different partners or of being indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners. What is considered “promiscuous” varies between cultures but traditionally, regardless of country, culture or creed, there is a significant double standard between how men and women are being judged…A promiscuous woman is called a “slut” and the man, a “stud” .
In the western culture, words used to describe male philanderers include womaniser, playboy, stud, rake… During the English Restoration (1660-88), “rake” was used glamorously as typified by Charles II’s courtiers Earl of Rochester and the Earl of Dorset. Other famous seducers whether real ones like Lord Byron, John Kennedy, Howard Hughes, Casanova…or fictional ones like Don Juan, James Bond actually drew more accolade than disdain, yet Cleopatra, Josephine, Catherine II of Russia were all being judged harshly. Chinese Emperors had women in the thousands and wealthy men had three wives and four concubines, yet  Empress Shirley Guo Burro (婉容) of Manchuria, Feng Yun (馮潤), Wu Zetian(武則天) were being openly condemned. Women civilians accused of promiscuity were punishable by stoning or drowning in a pig’s basket .

　　Today, in civilized societies, promiscuous women will no longer be stoned nor drowned, nor would this generation of men openly have multiple wives. Having sexual partners outside wedlock is considered betrayal and according to ‘Extramarital Affairs, Marital Satisfaction and Divorce’ published by Dr. Simon Fan and Dr. Lui Hon Kwong of Ling Nan University, “…Among various threats that can jeopardize the spousal relationship, the most important one is infidelity. ” Most violators in Hong Kong and China are men, perhaps understandably so, since polygamy only became illegal in China in 1950 and in Hong Kong in 1971, so they are still trying to adjust to this “new” culture. Unfortunately, Congreve’s "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned "  still holds true in that women today are mostly unwilling to put up with their men’s escapades,  divorce and broken homes follow as the philanderer’s ultimate penalty.

　　How about the mistress? Chinese women react differently, some suffer in silence, others make a scene. In the States, shesahomewrecker.com helps jilted wives post explicit information and photos of “mistresses” to publicly shame them for having affairs with their husbands -  i.e. virtual “mob lynching” in cyber…

　　How about women? do they cheat on their husbands?? Emily Pope of Undercover Lovers, a notorious dating website in the UK which encourages adultery by connecting married people seeking affairs  conducted a research among her 650,000 members and found that more and more women are cheating nowadays as compared to ten years ago, and when they do, they are generally more vicious than men. They start younger, earlier on in the marriage, are more  callous and merciless, quicker to seek divorce and walk away with their new lovers. What is happening to us ??

　　According to the 2005 Global Sex Survey conducted by condom-maker Durex,  the most promiscuous men in the world are the Turks and Finns and the most promiscuous women in the world are Australians and New Zealanders. People in Turkey have on an average (14.5) sexual partners whereas people in India have (3), China (3.1), and Hong Kong (3.8). However, according to the same report, people who are most sexually unhappy in the world are also found to be from Portugal (4th), Hong Kong (3rd), China (2nd) and Japan (the most unhappy).

　　Perhaps our marriages would be a lot stronger, our divorce rate would be much lower, and we would all be sexually happier if only we would put in the attention and extra effort, concentrate on being more sensuous, sensual and promiscuous with our own spouses ?